My First Impression of Bachelor In Paradise S4 E1

Mind you, I’ve NEVER seen one episode of any of The Bachelor or the other spinoff shows. This is my first time seeing a show like this. Yes! Interesting right? Daniel Giraffe now has an interesting view into this show! I’ve heard of this show lots of times. I’m a Giraffe. I explore and live out in the wild, I don’t live under a rock. It’s just that I’ve never thought to watch an episode of the show, and when I have an interest, the season is almost over. The thought of watching hours and hours of television just to get caught up to the trend, exhaustes me. But I knew in my 5 feet gut, this was the season to start watching the show.

Most of my thoughts through out the show was which parts we’re obviously scripted. The part about the guy talking about the dogs in the beginning? Yeah that was obviously scripted. The part about Corrine learning Spanish? Obviously scripted. But that was well scripted. That was funny. So I’m just gonna say some random names and I’m going to say what I thought about each cast member.

Raven

She’s really pretty. She’s also relatable. I like the way she looks at her men. She wants a man who doesn’t care about himself too much. COUGH COUGH MR KEN DOLL. She believes the universal idea that no straight man should have pretty hair. A straight man who cares about his image too much is obviously cocky and egotistical and Raven gets what damage that will do to her future.

Robby

Mr. Ken Doll. It really bothered me how many trunks he has. It bothered me how ugly his hair was. The hair being swept to the side is obviously shows that he not getting laid and that will not help. Robby, honey, focus on the world rather than yourself. People are dying. Don’t forget that.

Taylor

She like doesn’t like to feel her feelings but like she’s feeling them. Taylor needs to know her feelings and stop being second guessing what she’s feeling. Other than that, I like how she’s showing her natural hair.

Derek

Derek is that one kid in every high school movie that is the nerd of the school but the nice, and sweetest one of them all. Derek is the nerd that will treat you right. Both emotionally and financially. The writers of this character must really miss Derek from Grey’s Anatomy.

Amanda

Desperate. You applied to be in the celebrity match making site or whatever? You aint gonna find no Jonas brother. I don’t know much about her other than she’s pretty.

Ben

Obviously loves dogs. He’s gonna be that meme of what millennials want in a man who love dogs. But I get it, he came onto the show to find himself another bitch.

Alexis

She had me at, “my dancing vagina.” I have something like that too but mine doesn’t dance, it just stands.

She’s funny, she’s like the Snooki of the season.

Alex

Don’t know much about him other than he seems like the kind of guy who drives a big tall truck with a small penis.

Lacey

Reminds me of… nobody cause she’s gone.

Nick

He seems like the kind of guy who is always drunk and does stupid shit when he’s drunk.

Corinne

She’s one funny lady. She’s gonna be my favorite one because she seems like the type of girl who plays dumb but is actually the smartest one of them all. Starting with the naps, she knows her priorities. Sleep over boys.

Kristina

The nice and sweet one that everyone will probably be cunty to her.

Vinny

Who?

Jasmine

The smartest one of them all. She seems like she knows what she’s doing. Don’t call her a hoe, she’s just that one Costco customer that needs to try every sample once or twice.

Danielle

The one who needs to put herself more out there. If she just tried to socialize to every guy, she’d get them.

DeMario

The whistling would get me so annoyed. If I were there, I’d swing at him with my long neck just to shut him up.

And Chris

Fix them wrinkles.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: